Lindt, Lindor How I adore thee
by PufftMG
Summary: A short conversation between an older Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. With a twist. Start of a short HarryxDraco series in style. Warning: contains slash (in a round about way). M is for (one) bad word.


Lindt, Lindor – How I adore thee!

-_store in a cool and dry place (Lindt and Sprügli)_

"Ow, Pansy – what in Merlin's beard was _that_ for?"

"You know perfectly well what that was for, don't even think of playing innocent with me."

"I'm delicate Pansy – and not in a fat, glowing, _motherly _way either. So get that smirk off your face and bring me a cool cloth and some rose water to bathe my wounded limb with."

"I'm not one of the house elves, Draco and being your _beloved_ does not make me your mother."

"What kind of _pureblood_ are you? I'll have you know, _Mother _would never have dreamt of addressing Father in such an _uncouth_ manner. Though I'm quite sure she did dream of hexing him on occasion– but she never would have resorted to such a _muggle_ method as a _slap_!"

"Yes, but Lucius wasn't fucking the Boy-Who-Lived, _dear_. And don't bother raising your eyebrows at me, if you want to go about _sullying_ yourself with Gryffindors then you really should be familiar with _uncouth muggle ways._"

"You can't walk away after making an accusation like _that_. Or you should at least have the decencyof giving me a chance to reply _first_ – We couldn't have you going about misinformed."

"Then _enlighten _me, why don't you?"

"There is nothing _muggle_ in the way Potter and I fuck."

"Oh really, Draco, I thought we'd discussed this – no information is required – or wanted – when it comes to your _whatever_ with Potter."

"Well I thought perhaps there'd been a change in circumstance considering it was _you_ who first mentioned the topic."

"Forgive me, it was a near-blunder of epic proportions on my– I told you to get your hands off my chocolate – Draco, don't make me hex you! Go and make yourself useful instead and floo Blaise with the details of tonight's little soirée."

"You did no such thing, Pansy – you bruised my skin is what you did – there was no 'telling' about it."

"Oh _please_, you'd think I was a Hippogriff! You're a queen already don't add _drama _to it. Even Severus chastised you on that one, albeit privately. And what was it then? That's right, another of your plans to get closer to Potter! Well, you don't have to resort to injury to get his attention now – so leave me out of it. No, there'll be _six_ people Draco, which means we'll use the second dining room – besides, we don't have time to get Pinky to de-Doxy the main one."

"It won't take that long will it? Oh, fine – I'll leave details to you but I hope you've informed her that we're using the silver, you know Severus is coming tonight. _And_ I'll have you know, regardless of whether the stupid birds bite hurt or not – which, for the record, it _did_ – there was no way I was showing anyone my arm. – Has this been polished? The salad fork doesn't seem very clean – she'll be threatened with clothes if she can't even keep track of cutlery! That hideous creature, what was Potter always calling it – Beakbeard? Buckhead? Well it had a disease – my arm was purple for two _weeks_ – and even Pomfrey couldn't fix it – you of all people know_ that_!"

"Yes, how could I forget, you complained about it to me for the rest of the year! And what are you talking about, that fork looks perfectly clean to me – you're not _supposed_ to be able to see your reflection in it, Draco. Remind Blaise not to bring that _girlfriend_ of his either – he knows how much I abhor her. And you needn't look at me like that either – that cow showed me up at the Leaving Feast and Mordred hex me if I'll entertain her in my own house."

"Really, Pansy, shouldn't you be above such petty grudges? Anyway, why shouldn't I be able to see my reflection? Ok, point made – no need to mention it, the look says it all – I'll go floo Blaise, shall I? And I won't forget to request he leave behind his Kneazle so we can avoid a cat fight – Ow, Pansy – I _warned_ you about that already, with words I might add – and not filthy slaps! I'll be forced to approach the office of battered husbands! I'd watch yourself – If Potter notices all these bruises there'll be no stopping him – he'll turn Hero on us all and I'll be forced to find another witch to carry on the Malfoy line! Yes, yes, I know – floo – Blaise – now. But really, I'll give muggles one thing – they do know how to make good chocolate! They melt, Pansy – and they make your tongue cold and warm at the same time – if it wasn't such a blasphemy I light even call it magical!"

"–,"

"Ow!"

(-)


End file.
